Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Moment of Self Reflection

It's been a week.

No, I don't mean that in the sense of time passing.

I mean, like, damn... it has been a week... and that "week" was an adversarial, personified deliverer of misery and difficulty.

So no, I've not really continued on with any immediate projects. Hardly any of the mechanicum dudes have been assembled. I've not managed to paint any more corridors. I've not flocked any more trees. I did work on a little bit of terrain (which I'll get to in a minute), Hankleford continued his adventure at a Saturday night D&D session, "eldritch blast"-ing some gnolls into oblivion and providing a wonderful and much appreciated reprieve for me, but mostly I've just been recovering from illness and dealing with some personal issues outside of work.

Personal lives are funny, in this age of constant sharing and uploading ourselves for the entertainment and criticism of our technologically savvy peers. You see all of this information about other people, some of whom you know well, some you've maybe never even met or had a single conversation with, but all of it is what they want you to see or know about them. There isn't really a definite "line" of when it becomes too much and weirder yet, no one is requiring us to look at any of it anyway.

Don't worry, I'm not trying to prepare you, oh delicate reader, for some truth bomb about myself or some juicy gossip about my life. I'm just talking. Unpacking my mindspace a little bit.

I try to take life as slowly, as patiently, as I possibly can. I have a family (like, a really fucking great family) that I try to be very conscious of in this hyper-busy world. All of those sayings about time slipping through your fingers or flying by or whatever... they're all true, of course. But I think people say those things with an intent at remorse, at frustration in trying to trap time or to go back and experience things over again, and that's just not how I want to live. Experiences are valuable in and of themselves, but hanging too long onto any single experience potentially damages one's ability to enjoy the value in the next experience.

For example, every Christmas with children can be magical, but living this Christmas in a way of just trying to re-create last year's wonderful experience isn't allowing the changes over the last year to shape this new experience, and instead is trying to force new things into an old mold; this will result in an experience which ultimately comes up short compared to last year, and probably cause enough negative reaction to ruin things.

Or maybe a better example for this blog, let's say you play a really engaging game of 40k with a good friend, and the scenario and dice rolls and decisions and attitudes culminate in one of the best gaming experiences you ever have. Like, just one of those magical game sessions that defines our hobby. Once that session is over, it becomes one of your defining memories of the game. It does not only you, but your opponent, an incalculable disservice to attempt to re-create that experience over again instead of allowing new (and potentially equal, but different) experiences to occur, because the re-creation will never live up to the memory of the original.

I read a really fantastic extrapolation of this idea recently in C.S. Lewis's novel Perelandra: "This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards... was it possibly the root of all evil? No: of course the love of money was called that. But money itself - perhaps one valued it chiefly as a defense against chance, a security for being able to have things over again, a means of arresting the unrolling of the film."

I think the more modern, recognizable term for this is "mindfulness" which, I'll admit, even makes me cringe to type it. But it's not without merit! How many times have you or a good friend been frustrated and mad at a new edition of a rulebook, or at the new players at game night, etc., etc.?

Of my hobbies, I read quite a bit. It's probably the thing I do the most in all of my "downtime" activities. Typically we're talking anywhere between 7-10 books at a time (yes, seriously... I get bored otherwise). And I don't mean just internet articles, nor do I mean only "literary junk food" (a term a former mentor of mine enjoyed using for entertaining fiction, which I disagree with, but that's for another discussion), but also a decent amount of philosophically-laden content. Not necessarily "self-help" style, but works with the intent of self reflection and evaluation. Sometimes I agree with it, sometimes I vehemently do not, and sometimes it seems valuable enough to me to inspire change in my outlook.

Here is a great one I came across recently in The Four Agreements:


We've all seen or heard this many different ways at this point, I'm sure. "Words have power." And that's absolutely true, in a fashion that is nearly indisputable (well, intelligently so, anyway... some folks will argue any point I suppose). But this notion that our very words, with that power, create our reality by shaping our contracts and agreements with any/every one... it's pretty heavy stuff. Every word I use here, every comma, every pause or punctuation or phrasing structure, all of it, shapes the future I have with the reader, as well as the future the reader has with other people. It's like the "butterfly effect" taken to a new extreme. Consciously, subconsciously, it doesn't matter. Whether you agree, or disagree, are ambivalent, even apathetic... it doesn't matter. The ripple in the stream still occurs. So be impeccable with your word; do not create those ripples recklessly.

I could carry on, and I kind of want to... but I think I've gotten the first Assembly cleared enough from my mindspace just now to shift gears.

Hobby wise, as I said above, not much action has been taking place. I've been slowly piecing together my shoebox full of GW terrain pieces from the old Cities of Death stuff. I made a sizable trade for them years ago and never got around to building them, but now that my son is showing interest I figure the time is ripe for building that shattered city.

Were I to give a review of these pieces... I dunno, maybe like a solid B? Or even a B-? These pieces turn out some really nice looking stuff, but the time investment necessary in making sure the walls line up is considerable or your next piece simply won't fit very well and will look shitty. They looked originally to be very forgiving and error-proof... but that is simply not the case. I'll be able to turn out some pieces I'm happy with, certainly, but I really thought it would be easier/faster than this.

Playability is key for me. Miniatures need a place to stand securely, and players need to be able to reach in and move them without too much trouble.

I'm specifically building tall structures with a variety of openings on them, well secured to a foundation, with the intent of constructing bridges that I can set up between them on the table. Should be great for Necromunda/Kill Team style play!

Other than that, I finally saved enough money on the side and caught a good deal on a starter for the new version of Monsterpocalypse! My buddy/cousin (for real, cousin... it's a funny story) Kevin, who is one of my favorite people, has some true passion for this game and I'm really excited to finally get to play it with him. Giant monsters and robots and city destruction and all that is right up my alley anyway! I'm sure there will be some updates on these soon, too. Or I hope so, anyway. I very much want to play this game with only painted models.

Robots were my choice in a starter faction, of course.

Be impeccable with your word!